Mediation and Co-parent Planning
Here for you when you don’t know how to move forward
Sometimes, it can be extremely difficult for parents to agree on the right arrangements for their children when going through separation or divorce. Emotions run high, communication breaks down and relationships with children can begin to break down. When things get difficult like this, it can feel like there’s no way forward. That’s where mediation can help.
Here at The Starting Point Centre, our trained mediator is committed to helping you communicate effectively in a neutral environment. This can result in a less stressful way of dealing with sensitive matters relating to the arrangements for your children. Our ultimate goal is to create the right tool kit to help you resolve any issues relating to future-focussed co-parenting.
Check out in the next steps section at the bottom of this page how you can have a free consultation with Anna our Family Mediator onsite.
How does mediation work?
Family Mediation works by creating a process so that families can negotiate about future arrangements for children with the help of a neutral third party. Mediation does not exist to tell you what to do, but instead help you to reach your own agreements amicably, whilst trying to improve communication between you. It is voluntary, impartial, confidential, child focussed, and parents are always in charge.
During mediation, your mediator will help both parents go through their issues, think of potential solutions and decide whether they would work well in practice. From here, they'll support you in creating a mutual agreement that’s best for all. If you’re not comfortable with being in the same room as the other parent, the mediator can arrange ‘shuttle’ mediation, where you are placed in different rooms and your mediator ‘shuttles’ between you. Or mediation can take place online.
If an agreement is reached at mediation, a “memorandum of understanding” will be created by your mediator so everyone understands what has been agreed. These agreements are not legally binding in the sense of being enforceable by a court. However, the agreement can be used in court at a later stage if applying for a Consent Order.
Benefits of mediation
Gives you more control over what decisions are made in relation to your children.
Provides a less stressful way of dealing with sensitive matters than going to court.
Improves communication and helps you to sort out future arrangements.
Allows for arrangements to be reviewed and changed easier, so long as they are mutually agreed by both parties.
Provides a quicker and cheaper way of resolving disputes.
There are certain situations where mediation is not appropriate or cannot be provided, for example where there is known domestic abuse, if the child is part of a protection order, where mediation has been attempted before, or if it’s an urgent matter due to an immediate risk to the child.
Different types of mediation
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A mediator’s role is to facilitate communication and collaboration in a calm and neutral space. With a 70% success rate, mediation is considered the cheapest alternative to family court after DIY agreements. It’s much easier to reach a conclusion that works for both parties with the presence of a trained mediator. Although they can’t force either person to participate, nor tell you what to do, your mediator will help you understand important factors that need to be considered.
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Also known as ‘lawyer assisted’, ‘supported’ or ‘integrative’ mediation, hybrid mediation is where you or your partner has their lawyer present at a mediation session. This means that, even if one person doesn’t have a lawyer, the mediator will still be there as a neutral third party to help everyone reach the fairest agreement.
With a lawyer present, legally binding documents can be produced there and then, making things as straightforward as possible. However, it can sometimes be difficult to organise a session with at least four people to work around.
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If you want to involve your child in important family issues, child-inclusive mediation is a great option for children from the age of 10. The mediator will listen to their wants and needs, passing these onto both parents with the child’s consent.
Whilst your child won’t be making decisions about who looks after them, they’ll havethe chance to express how they feel, which can better inform parents’ choices.
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With collaborative family law, each partner will bring their own lawyer to the session, where both legal professionals work together to get the best outcome. Instead of working against each other or thinking tactically, any legal advice will be shared openly. This promotes better communication and a more positive relationship between ex partners. Having the presence of two legal professionals means that any decisions made will be extremely well-informed. However, legal costs can quickly add up.
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As a similar alternative to collaborative law/practice, a round table is where both partners and their lawyers work together to get the best outcome for everyone involved.
In this case, however, lawyers don’t need to be trained in collaborative law. This means that, if they’re not collaboratively trained, they may still resort to tactical moves and refuses to share legal advice with the other party.
A quicker, more cost effective option than court
Thinking of going straight to court? Did you know that from 22 April 2014, divorcing and separating couples in England and Wales who want to use the court process to resolve any disagreements about children must show that they have attended a separate Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with a qualified mediator before applying for a court order.
Why? Because of the pandemic, there’s currently a long backlog of cases waiting to be seen by the family court. This means that wait times will be longer than usual and often after this long wait, it’s discovered that the case could have been dealt with outside of the court. The government has therefore recognised the power of mediation and is encouraging more people to give it a try.
Why is mediation better than court?
Affordable. Fees are per session.
Adaptable - there are multiple methods of mediation.
Finds a solution faster.
Encourages open communication and relationship building.
Non-biased - both parents have a say.
Less stressful - no visits to court required.
Our Qualifications and Accreditations
Our approach to mediation is Inspired by ‘(Almost) Anything But Family Court’, a fantastic book written by Jo O’Sullivan
Next Steps
However you decide to resolve important family conflicts, our trained family mediator Anna can support you every step of the way. To start your journey to reaching an agreement that’s best for everyone, get in touch. Use this link to organise a phone consultation to talk to Anna:
https://thestartingpointcentre.as.me/Mediationphoneconsultation
You can also book your MIAMS (Mediation Initial Assessment Meeting)
appointment by using these links:
MIAMS face to face link https://thestartingpointcentre.as.me/miamsf2f
MIAMS teams meeting https://thestartingpointcentre.as.me/miamsteams
These meetings are confidential and individual
